Edward Lear's Nonsense Books

Edward Lear's nonsense books complete set - online version

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There was an old person of Ealing, Who was wholly devoid of good feeling; He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig, Which distressed all the people of Ealing.
There was an old person of Fife, Who was greatly disgusted with life; They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad, Which cured that old person of Fife.
There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
Who called out for something to sit on;
But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon
You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"
There was an old man who screamed out
Whenever they knocked him about:
So they took off his boots, and fed him with
And continued to knock him about.
There was an old person of Bray,
Who sang through the whole of the day
To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
That valuable person of Bray.
There was a young lady in white,