The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn - online book

Complete illustrated version of Mark Twain's classic book.

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parlyment; and if everybody don't go just so he whacks their heads off. But mostly they hang round the harem."
"Roun' de which?"
"What's de harem?"
"The place where he keep his wives. Don't you know about the harem ? Solomon had one; he had about a million wives."
" Why, yes, dat's so; I—I'd done forgot it. A harem's a bo'd'n-house, I reck'n. Mos' likely dey has rackety times in de nussery. En I reck'n de wives quarrels considable; en dat 'crease de racket. Yit dey say Sollermun de wises' man dat ever live'. I doan' take no stock in dat. Bekase why : would a wise man want to live in de mids' er sich a blimblammin' all de time? No—'deed he wouldn't. A wise man 'ud take en buil' a biler-factry; en den he could shet down de biler-factry when he want to res'."
"Well, but he was the wisest man, anyway; because the widow she told me so, her own self."
" I doan k'yer what de widder say, he warnH no wise man, nuther. He had some er de dad-fetchedes' ways I ever see. Does you know 'bout dat chile dat he 'uz gwyne to chop in two?"
"Yes, the widow told me all about it."
" Well, den! Warn' dat de beatenes' notion in de worF? You jes' take en look at it a minute. Dah's de stump, dah—dat's one er de women: heah's you— dat's de yuther one ; I's Sollermun ; en dish-yer dollar bill's de chile. Bofe un you claims it. What does I do? Does I shin aroun' mongs' de neighbors en fine out which un you de bill do b'long to, en han' it over to de right one, all safe en soun', de way dat anybody dat had any gumption would? No—I take en whack de bill in ttvo, en give half un it to you, en de yufcher half to de yuther woman. Dat's de way Sollermun was gwyne to do wid de chile. Now I want to ast you: what's de use er dat half a bill ?—can't buy noth'n wid it. En what use is a half a chile? I would'n give a dern for a million un urn."
" But hang it, J im, you've clean missed the point—blame it, you've missed it a thousand mile."
" Who ? Me ? Go 'long. Doan' talk to me 'bout yo' pints. I reck'n I knows