The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn - online book

Complete illustrated version of Mark Twain's classic book.

Home Main Menu Order Support About Search

Share page  

Previous Contents Next

MUMPS.                                                       247
If you don't hitch onto one tooth, you're bound to on another, ain't you ? And you can't get away with that tooth without fetching the whole harrow along, can you ? Well, these kind of mumps is a kind of a harrow, as you may say— and it ain't no slouch of a harrow, nuther, you come to get it hitched on good."
" Well, it's awful, i" think," says the hare-lip. " I'll go to Uncle Harvey and------"
" Oh, yes," I says, " I would. Of course I would. I wouldn't lose no time."
" Well, why wouldn't you ? "
"Just look at it a minute, and maybe you can see. Hain't your uncles obleeged to get along home to England as fast as they can ? And do you reckon they'd be mean enough to go off and leave you to go all that journey by your­selves ? You know they'll wait for you. So fur, so good. Your uncle Harvey's a preacher, ain't he ? Very well, then ; is a preacher going to deceive a steamboat clerk ? is he going to deceive a ship clerk ?—so as to get them to let Miss Mary Jane go aboard ? Now you know he ain't. What will he do, then ? Why, he'll say, ' It's a great pity, but my church matters has got to get along the best way they can ; for my niece has been exposed to the dreadful pluribus-unum mumps, and so it's my bounden duty to set down here and wait the three months it takes to show on her if she's got it.' But never mind, if you think it's best to tell your uncle Harvey------"
"Shucks, and stay fooling around here when we could all be having good times in England whilst we was waiting to find out whether Mary Jane's got it or not ? Why, you talk like a muggins."
" Well, anyway, maybe you better tell some of the neighbors."
" Listen at that, now. You do beat all, for natural stupidness. Can't you see that they'd go and tell ? Ther' ain't no way but just to not tell anybody at all."
" Well, maybe you're right—yes, I judge you are right."
" But I reckon we ought to tell Uncle Harvey she's gone out a while, anyway, so he wont be uneasy about her ? "
"Yes, Miss Mary Jane she wanted you to do that. She says, fTell them to give Uncle Harvey and William my lovo and a kiss, and say I've run over the river