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AMUSEMENTS FOR EVERYBODY 93
How is it that Methuselah was the oldest man when he died before his father? His father was translated.
What is the oldest table in the world? The multiplication table.
Which river is the coldest? The Isis (ice is).
Why are cats like unskilful surgeons? Because they mew till late (mutilate) and destroy patience (patients).
Why is it almost certain that Shakespeare was a broker? Because no other man has furnished so many stock quotations.
Why was Eve not afraid of the measles? Because she'd Adam (had 'em).
Why is a professional thief very comfortable? Because he usually takes things so easy.
When is a man obliged to keep his word? When no one will take it.
Why is an attractive woman like a successful gambler? Because she has such winning ways.
Who first introduced salt meat into the navy ? Noah, when he took Ham into the ark.
Why are two young ladies kissing each other an emblem of Christianity? Because they are doing unto each other as they would that men should do unto them.
What was the difference between Joan of Arc and Noah's ark ? One was Maid of Orleans, the other was made of wood.
Why would it be very appropriate for a man named Benjamin to marry a girl named Annie? Because he would be Bennie-fitted and she Annie-mated. |
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