94 IDEAL HOME LIFE
How many soft-boiled eggs could the giant Goliath eat on an empty stomach ? One, after which his stomach was not empty.
Why is a baker a most improvident person ? Because he is continually selling that which he kneads himself.
What is it we all frequently say we will do and no one has ever yet done? Stop a minute.
Which nation produces the most marriages? Fascination.
When is a horse like a house ? When he has blinds on.
Why is a bridegroom often more expensive than a bride? Because the bride is given away, but the bridegroom is often sold.
Why is divinity the easiest of all professions? Because it is easier to preach than to practice.
When is love deformed ? When it is all on one side.
What is the difference between a butcher and a flirt ? One kills to dress, and the other dresses to kill.
Who had the first entrance into a theater ? Joseph, when he was taken from the family circle and put into the pit.
Why is A like a honeysuckle ? Because a B follows it.
Why is modesty the strongest characteristic of a watch? Because it always keeps its hands before its face, and runs down its own works.
What two animals carried the least into the ark? The fox and cock, because they carried only a brush and comb between them.
Who are the two largest ladies in the United States ? Miss Ouri and Mrs. Sippi (Missouri and Mississippi).