IDEAL HOME LIFE
Why is a washerwoman like a navigator? Because she spreads her sheets, crosses the line, and goes from pole to pole.
Why is an author the queerest animal in the world? Because his tale comes out of his head.
Why is it that a tailor won't attend to business? Because he is always cutting out.
Why was Noah like a hungry cat? Because he went forty days and forty nights without finding Ararat.
When are we all artists ? When we draw a long face.
Why are watch-dogs bigger by night than by day ? Because they are let out at night and taken in in the morning.
When is a tradesman above his business? When he lives over his shop.
Which is the liveliest city in the world ? Berlin; because it's always on the Spree.
Why is a water-lily like a whale ? Because they both come to the surface to blow.
Why is a shoemaker the most industrious of men ? Because he works to the last.
Why is scooping out a turnip a noisy process? Because it makes it hollow.
What motive led to the invention of railroads ? The locomotive.
Why are deaf people like Dutch cheeses? Because you can't make them here (hear.)