THAT NIGHT 281
would have made myself—oh, so different! I am glad it was he that made me and not I myself ! He alone is to blame for what I am! Never would I have made such a worthless thing! He meant me such that I might know it and be miserable ! I will not be made any longer! '
' Unmake yourself, then,' said Mara.
' Alas, I cannot! You know it, and mock me! How often have I not agonised to cease, but the tyrant keeps me being ! I curse him !—Now let him kill me !'
The words came in jets as from a dying fountain.
I Had he not made you,' said Mara, gently and slowly, ' you could not even hate him. But he did not make you such. You have made yourself what you are. —Be of better cheer : he can remake you.'
'I will not be remade !'
' He will not change you ; he will only restore you to what you were.'
' I will not be aught of his making.'
I Are you not willing to have that set right which you have set wrong ? '
She lay silent; her suffering seemed abated.
' If you are willing, put yourself again on the settle.'
'I will not,' she answered, forcing the words through her clenched teeth.
A wind seemed to wake inside the house, blowing without sound or impact; and a water began to rise that had no lap in its ripples, no sob in its swell. It was cold, but it did not benumb. Unseen and noiseless it came. It smote no sense in me, yet I knew it rising. I saw it lift at last and float her. Gently it bore her, unable to resist, and left rather than laid her on the settle. Then it sank swiftly away.