132 Old-time Schools and School-books
In taking ame with missel weppons, the presizhun witsh savvidje nashuns have attaned is wondurful. In throing a stone, tha seldum mis the smalest mark; tha transfiks fish in the watur; nok down burds on the wing; and strike evury enemy with unerring egzaktnes.
Among savvidjes, the uzhual mode ov produsing fire is bi the rapid frikshun ov too peeses ov wood til tha produse flames. Having no mettels, tha do not pozzes the simpel methud ov kommunikating a spark to tinder, bi the violent kollizhun ov flint and steal.
In 1843 a similarly strange educational scheme was perpetrated under the title Companion to Spelling-books. A single specimen of the more than three hundred lessons in the book will suffice.
I have seen thy wonderous mite, Thro' the shaddows of the night; Thou who slumb'rest not nor sleapest, Blessed are they Thou kindly keepest! Thine the flaming sphear of light, Thine the darkness of the night, Thine are all the gemms of ev'n God of angels ! God of Heav'n ! God of life, that fade shall never! Glory to thy name fore ever!
Such a medley of mistakes would soon confuse even a good speller, and the plan is worse than useless unless one wants to acquire the orthography of a Josh Billings or an Artemus Ward.