Advanced Readers 285
4. He addresses the company by improper titles ; mistakes one name for another; and tells you of Mr. What d'ye call him, or you know who; Mrs. Who'ist there, what's her name, or how d'ye call her; He begins a story; but, not being able to finish it, breaks off in the middle, with, u I've forgot the rest."
I also reprint one of the dialogues. It is intended to illustrate the prejudices of the vulgar against academies. The participants in the conversation are Old Trumpet, Goody Trumpet, and their son, Leander.
Old Trumpet, alone.
A plague and Satan confound such ignorance, says I; what, the dog is ruin'd and undone for ever and for 'tarnally. Must I feed and pamper and lodge the puppy ? ay, ay, and send him to the Mackademy, and give him laming — and for what ? good Lord, for what ? O ! snakes, toads and dung worms ! O ! the Mackademy ! My son Len will be ruin'd !
Enter Goody Trumpet in haste.
G. Trum. Well there now, husband, I can't, no nor I wont bear it any longer — for would you think it? our Leander is gone crazy, and's a fool, and melirious, and — nd —
Old T. Yes, yes, that's as clear as the sun — that I'll vow to any day. He's a fool, and a dog, and crazy, and — and — what was the word you us'd ?
G. T. Pshaw ! you're a 'tarnal pesterment. You're too old to larn any thing but how to wear horns —
Old T. No, no, that's a lie — I've larnt that a ready —