164 THE SECRET GARDEN
partly because she was curious and partly in hope of making him forget the garden.
" I don't suppose I shall," he answered as indifferently as he had spoken before. " Ever since I remember anything I have heard people say I shan't. At first they thought I was too little to understand and now they think I don't hear. But I do. My doctor is my father's cousin. He is quite poor and if I die he will have all Missel-thwaite when my father is dead. I should think he wouldn't want me to live."
" Do you want to live? " inquired Mary.
" No," he answered, in a cross, tired fashion. " But I don't want to die. When I feel ill I lie here and think about it until I cry and cry."
" I have heard you crying three times," Mary said, " but I did not know who it was. Were you crying about that? " She did so want him to forget the garden.
" I dare say," he answered. " Let us talk about something else. Talk about that garden. Don't you want to see it? "
" Yes," answered Mary, in quite a low voice.
" I do," he went on persistently. " I don't think I ever really wanted to see anything before, but I want to see that garden. I want the key dug up. I want the door unlocked. I would let them take me there in my chair. That would be getting